


Part One

by MlleJoli



Series: Is This... Thedas? [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Self Insert, Smutty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-06-12 05:08:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15332460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MlleJoli/pseuds/MlleJoli
Summary: What would you do, if you woke up in Thedas? Hopefully, not die! This is the story of Erafen, who woke up in Thedas and cannot seem to find her way out again. Does she have the fortitude to survive? Knowing who these characters are, can she truly trust them?





	1. But... Why?

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is something that has kind of been done to death, and if it's no good i really would like to know. I promise it will have its own unique take, and I will not be going directly off the game.

I'm not entirely sure why this particular dream hurts so bad.... Am I laying on the ground? It'd be great if I could _see something..._

When I opened my eyes, I found myself laying in a field. I'm not a big fan of outside, or grass, or dirt, but none of that mattered at this moment. I could barely focus on anything aside from my splitting headache and sore legs, like I had been running, and I guess just fell asleep? It would, at the very least, explain the green sky above me. Sure, it had been quite some time since I had played Inquisition, or any Dragon Age games for that matter, but I could recognize the Breach anywhere. 

I looked around me to see everyone in a flurry. A horde of wisps and demons rampaged about, but it wasn't until the ground around me started to bubble did I notice the terror. It was too late for me to move, by the time I even registered what was happening, I had already been knocked up several feet into the air. When I fell back down, my body screamed out in pain; my muscles were sore and my throat was dry, and I wondered to myself why I was so afraid. However, when looking upon the chaos of a demon infested world, and even with the menacing rift not 20 feet away from me, it was easy to get confused. There were no health bars, no mini-map, no controller in my hand that would help my brain distinguish this from reality, and so naturally, I panicked. I crawled away from the terror--it seemed to smell my fear and hungrily chased the weakest link. My hands scrambled to find a weapon, any weapon at all. The first thing I found, was a staff. Skeptical, I did reach for it with little forethought (namely how I didn't even know if I had magic, or the discipline to weild it), and was pleasantly surprised when I felt a slight tingle from the moment I touched the enchanted weapon. I was not at all confident, but I scrambled to my feet and surely pretended to know what I was doing. I tried to focus the terror, as I waved the staff about haphazardly. I did hit the demon a few times, but it took a wide swipe at me and sent me flying several feet back. _That's new..._

I looked around to see that most of the demons were dead, but so was everyone else who fought them. I did the only thing I could think of at the moment--Run. I wasn't sure of the dying in dreams business, but I was not too keen on discovering the truth. With great effort, I was able to set fire to a small patch of grass, a pitiful distraction, as I turned to head for the hills. I knew for certain I was in the Hinterlands, but I had no idea where. There was no where to run, no where to hide, and so I kept running, the demons shrieking behind me. I had hoped that if I ran long enough they would eventually disengage, as they would in the game, but I never got to test the theory...

Just before me, I saw a group of soldiers ride up to battle. I thought they must have been the rift and came for it, but as I looked among them, none of them had the glowing hand, the tell-tale sign of the Inquisitor. This only meant one thing; The rift would continue to spit out demons and this group of idiots will all die in vain. But then I noticed another detail; These soldiers were definitely Templars, and the Inquisitor may not be with them, but Cullen certainly was. His pale face came forward and the man reached out for me, and pulled me behind the wall of shields. He asked me if I were okay, but didn't wait for my answer before he barked orders at his men. They charged forward and slayed the demons that had chased me, and I had been so relieved that I fell to my knees. I did pick up my staff again to help, trained my attention on the terror and attacked with all the energy I had left. Once the demon was down, a headcount was taken, and Cullen immediately ordered everyone to get back in formation, and ride on to Haven. 

He turned, and spoke to me then. 'I'm sorry your clan is dead,' he said with a frown. 

'My clan?' I pushed some stray hairs behind my ear to see if they were pointed. _A Dalish elf? Wonderful._ 'I... It isn't your fault.'

'My name is Cullen Rutherford,' he said, as if I didn't already know exactly who he was. He stretched a hand out for me.

'Erafen,' I replied, in panic. Erafen? What kind of name is that? I took his hand and shook it, as any polite elf (probably) would.

'My men and I are leaving for Haven. You should come with us, for protection,' he said gently, as if he were speaking to a wounded animal. 

'Thank you,' I hesitated. Was it to early game to trust Cullen and his Templars, with my being a mage? Was he only just arriving from Kirkwall? 'I suppose I don't have much of a choice,' I shrugged. 

Cullen nodded. 'You can ride with me. We aren't far off,' he said as one of his soldiers handed him the reigns to his horse. He helped me up into the saddle with him, and held tight (a bit too tight) as we rode to Haven. There weren't many horses, and all of them carried two riders--it was clear that Cullen and his men had picked up many stragglers along the way. It was very surreal to be in such a position; Riding through the HInterlands with Cullen, who might still be Knight-Captain for all intents and purposes, as a Dalish mage (which, honestly, was very far off the mark for me, and I was very surprised my brain thought that situation up), headed toward Haven. Normally being so close to Commander Cullen I could feel his breath, literally having fallen into his lap, would send me reeling, but there was a more pressing matter at hand. If Cullen has only just arrived to Haven, never mind the Temple of Sacred Ashes, then that means the Inquisitor probably isn't even awake yet. And if I am not the Inquisitor in this dream, and they clearly have not yet closed the Breach... Then how long would this dream last? And how much longer would I have to fight? Was there even going to be an Inquisitor?


	2. The Gang's All Here, I Guess

Upon arrival to Haven, Cullen suggested I stay behind and rest at the Chantry, but honestly I didn't think I could sit still. I told him I'd rather stay and fight, and that I had a score to settle for my clan, and he seemed to respect that. As we made our way to the Temple on foot, several camps had been set up along the way, and among them, were weapon distributors. I followed Cullen closely, and wondered if all the conversations these people were having were the same conversations Bioware would have coded them to have. I would have loved to listen in, my morbid curiosity getting the better of me, but my attention was drawn by a short man behind a make-shift counter. 

'And for you? Anything you need?' he asked me. 

Cullen glanced back to me, and must have seen my surprise. 'I think she is fine with her staff,' he suggested. 

'No, actually,' I really wasn't. 'I would like a bow and some arrows, if you've got it them,' I said, suddenly feeling brave. Though, admittedly, I still hid behind Cullen. 

The man smiled. 'A Dalish Hunter! There's nothing deadlier,' he said as he handed me a bow. I wasn't so why he was being so nice, as from what I've seen, humans don't generally hand elves weapons with a smile on their faces, but here he was, wishing the Maker guided my arrows as he filled the quiver for me. An interesting sentiment, particularly in this situation.

'Are you sure?' Cullen asked me. He seemed genuinely surprised. I suppose I would be, too, were I in his shoes. 

'Absolutely,' I said as I strapped the quiver across my chest. This Dream-Me may have been familiar with magic, but the real me was very familiar with a bow and arrow.

It seemed as though Cullen had much to say, but his attention was drawn by a soldier advising him of another rift forming ahead. So, naturally, we charged into battle. 

I found myself much more comfortable with a bow. I was able to pick off demons with ease, mostly before they even saw me. I had the good fortune of a perch, out of the fray and able to see everything. The horde seemed relentless, and just as my resolve began to falter, I saw them. Cassandra, ever fierce and stunning, charged in with her sword and shield. I had been so relieved to see her that I almost missed Varric... My sweet, sarcastic Varric, and Bianca, showing a brave face in a time where he absolutely should have ran. And then, of course, was Solas. My heart fluttered when I saw him, and I had to remind myself of who this man was... And also that I was in the middle of a battle and definitely would die if I didn't pay attention. 

Next I knew, the demons were all dead, and my team stood tall above the gore. Some exchanges were had that I didn't hear, but I had paid very close attention to the Inquisitor. A male Trevelyan, of course. How vanilla. 

'Erafen, are you alright to fight on?' Cullen asked, pulling my attention away. 

'Yes, Cullen, of course,' I stumbled over my words, habit making me want to call him "Commander".

'Good. Go on with Cassandra, and we will meet up at the Temple.' 

I nodded, somewhat upset Cullen had sent me ahead, but collected as many arrows as I could find anyway. I watched as Trevelyan closed the rift, the bright light nearly blinding me, in complete awe. I did feel silly, because this was not at all new to me, but it was vert different, somehow. I could feel the heat, the tingling energy fizzing about the air. It was bizzare. 

Cassandra rallied the remaining soldiers, and pushed forward. It wasn't until just then, did I notice Solas staring at me, with great intent. His glare nearly made me buckle, and I made a point to stay as far from him as I could. Could he tell I was an impostor? And further more, why am I not awake yet? Although now that we were moving again, I did wonder why the Inquisitor chose to not go through the mountain path, after all, this was my dream and that's what I always did. 

It was interesting to see how my dream differed from the game, however some aspects were the same. Once we reached the Temple of Ashes, it was like watching the cut scene. Everything happened just as it did the multiple times I went through the opening sequence, only this time, I was terrified. I knew the pride demon was going to be a pain to take down, and it was hard to steel myself so that I may fight, and not run. 

The thing was truly massive. Bigger than it seemed in the game. The ground shook as it walked, and the electricity in the air shocked me as if it were static all around me. I was still sore from who-knows-what, but I used every ounce of strength I had, and every bit of tension I could force from my bow to take down the enemy. All we had to do, was kill the demon, Trevelyan would close the Breach, and I could wake up and eat something. Maybe drink my weight in water. 

But I had run out of arrows long before it fell. I looked around me to see dozens of soldiers wailing on the beast, and even my team--Trevelyan's team--had begun to crack. Cassandra was slow, sluggish. Something I'd never seen before. And Solas... Solas struggled to stand it seemed. I didn't know what else I could do. However, I am far too stubborn to accept defeat. I did not have a staff, but I did have magic. I looked down to my hands, determined to do more. I had no idea what kind of magic I could do, but I had to do something. 

I drew a deep breath. Closed my eyes. Focus on my own will... _I can do this..._

I opened my eyes and trained my attention to the pride demon. I thought on how it wanted to hurt my friends, even if they weren't flesh and bone, and decided I would not have any of it. I thrust my palms forward, and from them, bolts of electricity shot out, like I had thrown lightening at the demons. The magic felt like nothing I'd experienced before... Raw power just ripping through my fingertips and scorching the demon. It was exhilarating. I hurled everything I had at the demon, and then, as if by miracle, it fell. 

A wave of relief washed over me then, and my adrenaline high seemed to immediately come down. I was suddenly ferociously hungry and even feint, sluggish with exhaustion. I didn't have time to think about how wonderful a nap would have been after all that, because as I watched Trevelyan try to close the Breach, he fell to his knees. Again, I panicked. I just wanted this dream to be over, and if this was all I needed to do to get out of it... 

I ran forward and grabbed his arm, raising it back up to the Breach. As if he'd been siphoning my magic, I suddenly felt drained. As if all the air had been sucked out of my body. As the Breach closed, it flashed a bright green as usual, but the thunderous pop has stunned me. I remember looking up to see Solas running toward me and Trevelyan, but nothing else.


	3. En Garde!

Waking up from my hellish dream seemed to take forever. The fog of sleep seemed to stick around for far too long, and it took great effort to even open my eyes. My throat was so dry it felt like I had swallowed a running chainsaw, and my stomach ached with hunger pains. My head still pounded, only worse now, but none of that was distraction enough from the my screaming muscles. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to think, even. 

'Is the ceiling very interesting?' A voice sounded beside me.

I nearly jumped out of bed, clueless someone was in the room with me. "What..." 

When I turned to see who spoke, it was Solas sitting next to the headboard, a book in his hand. He couldn't have seemed less interested in me. "The ceiling. You've been staring at it for some time.'

Disappointment sunk in then. I was not awake, and I was apparently in the Haven Chantry. If closing the Breach didn't end my dream, what would? I knew that, while dreaming, you could live 10 life times, but would I really have to go through all 200 hours of game play in one night? I sort of wondered why I was going through all this, and if it was my heart's way of telling me to play again, so be it. I get it. But, this was too much. The pain was too real. I struggled to sit up, but the moment I moved my abdomen cramped up and I just slouched against the headboard. 

'I'm sorry, who are you?' I asked politely, trying to hide how much pain I was in. 

He looked up from his book, and sort of smiled. 'My name is Solas. And you are Erafen, yes?' 

He must have spoken to Cullen, I was surprised he remembered my name through all that mess. 'Yes.' I decided the less I say, the better. I didn't need the Dread Wolf sniffing me out, even if I were an elf. Solas will always be my beau, but I was not wanting to get on his bad side. 

'Well, you're in Haven right now,' he said as he put his book down. 'Cullen tells me that your clan is dead.' 

I nodded. 'Yes, that would appear to be the case.'

'I would have thought you'd be rather, upset about that,' He said, eyeing me closely. 

'You know how the elves are,' I said with a shrug. I was very thankful for their collective paranoia. 'Mages are traded around like furs. I tend to keep to myself anyway. It is better this way.'

Solas nodded. 'Fair enough.' He seemed to accept my logic. Of course, I knew that would resonate with him, as he was a bit of a loner, too. 'You must be hungry.'

I nodded, though it was more a statement than a question. He suggested I join him in the tavern for some food, which sounded thrilling at the time, but standing was something of an issue for me. From I stood from the bed, I felt a harsh chill from my bare feet on the stone ground. Solas must have seen my reaction, because he sort of huffed in amusement and showed me a pile of clothes with boots on top. 

'It is frightfully cold in Haven,' he said as he watched me slip the boots on. They were probably the most comfortable things I'd ever worn. 

'I see that,' I said, then wrapping myself up in the brownish, over-sized tunic. I'd even been given a belt for it. I didn't think it would have bothered me so much, namely because I actually live in a cold region, but I suppose this dream is full of surprises. 'I hope the food is worth it,' I said, trying to lighten his intensity. 

It had worked. He smiled. 'It won't be.' 

 

Walking through Haven was like returning home from a long, long vacation. Everything was familiar, but a little bit different. It all felt so real to me, that I just wanted to lay down in the snow to soak up the scenery. I had been so distracted, that I hadn't noticed that nearly everyone who passed me had watched me closely, and lowered their voiced. Not that I cared. 

'You don't let it bother you?' Solas asked me quietly as he held open the door to the tavern. He could see that I had not been following the conversation. 'The whispers, staring?'

'Not at all,' I said as we sat at the bar. 'It's the curse of being so pretty.' I winked.

At first, Solas wasn't sure if I was serious or not. But after a moment, he did grin, then asked the barkeep for some stew. I could smell the meat on the fire, the meed that filled the tankards, even something sweet baking in the stone oven behind the bar. Of course, none of which I had ever noticed before, if it were even in the game. The barkeep presented us with a flagon of meed, which I knew better than to drink, but poured myself a glass anyway and took several healthy swigs. I needed something in my belly immediately, even if it were alcohol. Very gross alcohol. I knew Solas was watching me closely, but I didn't care. I didn't even try to be remotely "lady-like". As soon as the stew came, I looked at the tiny bowl and laughed. 

'I will need another,' I said before I shoveled giant chunks of meat and (what was probably) vegetables into my mouth. 

'You act as if you have not eaten in days,' Solas said, amused.

'Well, how long have I been asleep for?' I said, curious. 

'About a day,' he said thoughtfully. 

'Then I have not eaten for about a day,' I said, swallowing a poorly chewed mouthful. 

'You're funny,' he said, with little emotion. 

I looked to him, his blank face like a mask. Then, I couldn't stop looking at him, no matter how much I wanted to take another bite. Seeing him sit in front of me was a whole new level of heart-break. I knew the narrative, I knew the struggle. And yet, I still wanted to throw myself at him and never let go. I could reach out and touch him, if I wanted to risk it. He was the first to break eye contact, taking a spoonful of stew. _Dammit, Solas. I hate you._

'I'm glad you think so,' I finally said. I could feel my cheeks flush and I felt foolish for it. 

'This is awful,' he said, frowning. 

Throughout the meal, he had asked me many questions, most of which I deflected, but many I had to scramble to find the answers. As far as he was concerned, I was now an orphan, who taught herself to hunt with a bow, and is frightened of her own magic. He offered to teach me how to use it, which would have been smart, but I wasn't going to allow myself to fall into that spiral again. Or at least, try not to. By the time we left the tavern, I was a whole new person that I didn't recognize. Solas seemed to believe everything that I was telling him-I've certainly spent enough time playing these games to be convincing-but keeping up the act may soon prove difficult. As long as I just keep my distance... 

'There has been something I've been wanting to know about you, but there is no easy way to ask it,' Solas said somewhat awkwardly as we left the tavern. 

After I had just spent the better part of an hour lying my face off, I wasn't sure what else he could possibly need to know. 'Ask away. I don't have many secrets,' I said with a smile. 

'Your magic is... Well. It is not like any magic I've felt before.' 

'Is that bad?' 

'It could very well be,' he said cautiously. 'There is something about you that is very... foreign. As if you wear the face of a Dalish mage, but are something else entirely.' 

My heart skipped a beat. Why would I torture myself like this? 'You caught me,' I said, keeping an even tone. I even gave him a convincing laugh. 'I am actually two dwarves in a very elaborate costume.' 

Solas laughed, for real this time. It seemed the conversation we had in the tavern, while tense, made him less suspicious of me. Ironic. 'I suppose I'm just being a bit paranoid,' he said, somewhat aloof. We arrived at his little house, and I found myself wanting to fall back into old habits. I wanted to exhaust that dialogue wheel, to explore every option I could, even though, at one point, I might have been able to recite it from memory. I honestly just wanted to listen to him talk for a while... I scrambled for a way to leave without being rude. 

'I do have a confession, however,' he said, just before I could make my escape. 

'What's that? Are you also two dwarves in an elaborate costume?' I asked him. There was absolutely nothing he could say that would surprise me. 

'While I am saddened to hear of your clan being slain, I am glad it has brought you, here.' He paused. Though he spoke softly, he still had a hardened expression. 'Being an elven apostate is not exactly a good thing to be, especially when surrounded by Templars...' 

At this point, I would have liked to argue that these men were no longer Templars, and Cullen wasn't going going to chase us down with a torch and pitchfork, but I honestly wasn't sure if, in this strange version of Inquisition, that would be true. 'You don't have to remind me,' I said casually. 

He lowered his voice then. 'I suppose not. But I do like to know things. I wouldn't say I do not trust the people here, but I do not trust them to tell us everything we should, or need to know.' 

From here, I understood where he was going. He wanted me to join his secret network. Turns out, he could surprise me. 'Of course,' I said quietly. 'Humans can be... Secretive.' 

He smiled. 'Yes. I wouldn't normally prey on someone who is mourning, but I think that you and I could, perhaps, work together as long as we are here. It would be comforting to know someone was watching where I may not be.' 

'So, you want me to be a spy?' I asked, rather forward. 

'In a manner of speaking,' he said passively, his hands locked behind his back. 'I would like to have at least one friend, if I am to stay here. I suspect you would, too.' 

_If we're being honest, I'd like you to be more than just my friend._ I couldn't help but grin like an idiot. 'I would.' 

Solas' eyes shifted then. Someone came up from behind me. He forced a smile. 

'The chosen on Andraste, a blessed hero to save us all,' he said dryly to Trevelyan. I took this opportunity to slip away from the conversation. I didn't want to have any particular attention from Trevelyan, because the last thing I wanted was to slip up and make a mistake about my cover story. As I walked away, I turned back to look at Solas speaking to the soon-to-be Inquisitor, and not looking terribly impressed. I noticed that this dream Solas was not quite like the Solas in game, More reserved, somehow, and much more intimidating. I suppose that with my being Dalish, it would help keep attention off of me-what was just another archer among the ranks of the Inquisition soldiers? But I was worried I would like the Inquisitor, as well. I heard the comment about the phoenix, which likely meant he would be the funny Inquisitor, which was my personal favourite. That being said, I didn't want to know what would happen if they suspected something was off about me. It already worried me that Solas may only be pretending to get close to me so he can keep a close eye on me. Of course he could have been "interviewing" me, to make sure I was a good candidate for his spy network. At this point, I worried even further about whether or not it was true that if you died in a dream, you also die in real life. Would they kill me if they suspected something? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! Had some technical difficulties with this one. Should be all fixed now.


	4. Et moi, Trevelyan?

The day was barely half over before I had been surrounded by a group of people wanting to thank me personally for my aid with the Blessed One's work. Apparently, word had traveled that I had something to do with Vanilla Trevelyan's heroic mission, and I should have been thanked for it, too. Honestly, I wouldn't have gone near him if I had known I wouldn't have woken up yet. I still hurt, I was still very hungry (despite 3 bowls of stew which tasted of despair), and I was still very miserable. They had offered me their polite thanks and kind praises, not once even mentioning that I was an elf. I wasn't sure if I should have been offended if they did, or moreso that they did not. Either way, I would have ultimately favoured them not speaking to me at all. I wandered around Haven for an hour or so, not because there was so much to see, but rather, it made me feel calmer over this annoying situation. Upon revisiting my issue for the hundreth time, I realised I must have been in a waking dream, as I was aware that I was dreaming in the first place, which should have meant I could wake whenever I wanted to. Even if I could not, I could have at least made myself the Inquisitor, or anything but an elf (but preferably human), and I could have made Solas leave me alone. But none of that happened. It was frustrating, but when I circled back to the Chantry, I found myself walking into is, searching for somewhere to rest. I had planned on returning to my bed, hopefully to warm up some too, when I saw the Inquisitor and his advisers leaving the War Room. 

Honestly, I did have a fan girl moment, that I will not lie about. Cassandra scowled, as per usual, and Leliana and Josie spoke quietly to each other as they fell behind. Cullen had muttered something about a long road ahead of them and Cassandra agreed, and that is when the gravity of the moment had sunken in. Trevelyan was not likely awake much longer than I was, and if he was speaking to this lot... Then the Inquisition was just born again. The thought sent a shiver down my spine. For such an exciting moment, it seemed somewhat downplayed. But, even if I was not a part of it, I was excited for it. 

That was, until Trevelyan locked eyes with me, and immediately changed his course to come straight for me. 'You there!' He called out. 

I wasn't sure why he was yelling. I wasn't moving, and was not very far away from him. 'Andraste's Herald,' I said, bowing my head. I wasn't sure what to call him. 

'You're the one who helped me, right? In the Temple?' He seemed a little tense. Did he not want my help?

I nodded to him, but said nothing. 

He smiled wide. 'Finally. I've been chasing down several unfortunate elves all day, because I never got a good look at you!' He clasped my hand, then drew me into a hug. 'I likely owe you my life!' 

A groan escaped me as he drew me in, an automatic response to all of my various aches. 'I wouldn't think so, my lord,' I said lightly. 'I didn't do anything.' 

'Well, that's not what Solas says,' he shrugged as he released me. 'He believes that without the help of your magic, I wouldn't have been able to close that rift.' 

_What? That's can't be true..._ 'Well,' I fumbled over myself. 'You're welcome, I suppose?' 

'Thank you,' Trevelyan laughed. It was a sweet laugh, warm, and his smile was... Annoyingly charming. I am a sucker for dimples, after all. 

This man-child with hair like a lion's mane was going to be a problem. I knew who this Trevelyan was based off of, someone in my real-life that I had also felt very strong feelings toward. The more this dream goes on, the less I am liking it. I guess I had been staring for too long, because he hit my shoulder lightly, and offered me a drink at the Tavern. I absolutely did not want to go back there, but...

 

... Here I was anyways. Sitting back at the bar, sharing stories with Trevelyan. He told me his first name was Blaine, which was odd to me, and bought me a little tart-like treat that had slices of plum in it. It was like biting into a slice of heaven.

'I can see myself getting fat off these,' I said with a sheepish grin. 

'That good?' Trevelyan asked, as he spooned more of that awful stew into his mouth. 

I nodded, and even licked the last of the crumbs from my fingers. 'Absolutely. I'd ask for another, but I should stop while I'm ahead.' 

Blaine smiled at me again. His expression then melted away as he asked me about my clan. I gave him the same story I gave Solas, and he didn't seem to understand very well. I don't blame him, it wasn't as if he really had any reason to be in the know of Elven culture, but it was nice to show off my knowledge of the game, to someone in the game. The irony was above him, but that's okay. He then went on to ask where I would go, and I replied honestly. I had no idea. I could go back tot he Hinterlands, but with the world collapsing, I'd have a safer bet with the Templars in Haven, which started the Inquisition speech. 

He assured me that the Templars were no longer Templars. 'I mean, they are because that is who they are as people, you know?' he said. I had to laugh at him. 'But they are no longer a part of the Templar Order.' I asked him if not that, when whom do they follow, at which point he proudly announced the birth of the Inquisition. Of course, there was no Inquisitor at this point, but he did say he'd been tasked with spreading the word and reach of the new order, and that I should join his team. 

'Your team?' I said with a slight laugh. 'What for?' 

Trevelyan looked at me as if I had lost my mind. 'Well, nevermind how you risked your own life to help me close the rift in the Temple, not knowing how the magic worked, but Cassandra and I have seen you in battle. So has Cullen. Your aim is pretty good,' 

'Impeccable,' I said before I could stop myself. But to be fair, I had several awards to prove it. 'I rarely miss,' I said with a smile. 

'Of course,' he laughed. 'Plus, if you were ever disarmed, you have magic that could save us all.' 

'I'm not the only mage here,' I said halfheartedly. I was still drooling over those plum tarts. 

'But certainly the loveliest.' 

I was caught off guard. That was exactly the kind of cheesy, stupid little flirt his real-life counter part would have used. 'Well, thank you,' I said with a ridiculous grin. I'm sure I had blushed, too. 

'So anyway, eat all those tarts you can fit in your belly, Erafen. I'm sure I'll keep your busy enough, you won't get terribly fat.' He smiled back at me, and held my gaze. His confidence had not wavered even a little. I hated it. 

I couldn't help but laugh. 'Call me Fenna. I've never been a fan of the way Erafen sounds.' _I'm not even sure why that was the first name that came to mind, either._

'Fair enough, Fenna. I have some people I need to speak to. We'll talk more later,' he said as he stood from his chair. He then put down another few gold coins on the counter for the barkeep. 'And another plum cake for my friend, here. She'll need it,' he said as he winked at me. 

_Ugh._


	5. Chapter 5 - This is Hard....

Hardly any time had passed since my time with Blaine and Solas in the Tavern until we were traipsing about the Hinterlands, looking for Mother Giselle. And by that, I mean several painful days had gone by, where I avoided almost every conversation I could, up until it was time for me to have my armour sized and fixed for me. However, to be fair, Harritt was a really great blacksmith. The armour he had made me was unlike anything I'd seen in the game beforehand, but it was deep red and almost looked like elven armour, as if someone had made their first attempt at making anything for an elf. It was very flattering, really. Even the boots were soft and quiet, perfect for sneaking, and the gauntlets allowed for the precise movements I needed for a bow and arrow. It had made me feel like a real part of the team, walking among the Herald, Cassandra and Solas, all of which were impressive in their own skills. 

Anyway, all that was all fine and well until I had realised how much walking I would have to do. The Hinterlands were vast, and we had yet to make contact with the quartermaster, and the streets were lines with rebels fighting the Templars. There was no escaping the gore, as it was seemingly endless. I was very glad for the second quiver I had with me in tow-Not all my arrows were salvageable. Much to my surprise, Solas and Blaine seemed to get along swimmingly. This Inquisitor made it a point to praise his teammates, and it was refreshing. But even from afar, I could see Solas was not as at ease as he would have liked the others to believe he was. Perhaps it was because of the ridiculous hours I have logged in for this game that allowed me to recognize it, but Solas was almost desperate to get away from dear Trevelyan. 

As we walked along, I had spotted a cave ahead, and instinctively headed for it. Naturally, Cassandra told me I was wasting my time, but Blaine seemed to want to follow me. He loomed close behind me as I explored the small cave, while Cassandra insisted that she wait outside. Solas offered to wait with her, in case of danger. 

Once alone with Blaine, he cornered me into a conversation I wasn't sure I wanted to have. 

'There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about,' he said quietly, whispers bouncing off the stone walls. 

I peered back at him. 'Something wrong?'

The man sighed. 'I'm not sure that I am cut out for this life, you know?' 

I wanted to laugh. 'What do you mean?' 

Blaine stopped walking, and stared at me in defeat. 'I mean that I'm not a warrior,' he shrugged. 'I'm not even religious, and now they sing songs for me about how I was guided by Andraste...' 

_Ah, shit._ 'Well, you don't have to believe in the Maker to be a good person,' I said, unsure of how to proceed. How am I always the one people go to, to tell their secrets? 

Blaine nodded. 'You're right. But this is more than being a good person, Fenna. This is... This is being a true warrior. A fighter. Someone who can stand up in the face of evil, and I am not a courageous man.' 

'I beg to differ,' I said, before I could even think of what I should have said. 'I saw you stare down that Pride Demon at the Temple, and you did not back down,' I said, my hand on his shoulder. 

'Truthfully, Fenna, I was terrified. I wanted to run...' 

'Of course you did, Blaine! I did too. Everyone did. But what matters, is that you did not.' 

Blaine seemed unconvinced. 'I just am worried that someone might... Find out that I am a coward. I'm not even sure why I am telling you, but...' 

I shook my head. 'You are not a coward. Not once did you run. Not once did you falter. Heroes are not born, Blaine. They are forged.' 

He looked away from me, unable to hold my gaze any longer. 'Fenna, I am not a hero.' 

'You are my hero,' I said. It was not untrue. 'I watched my clan die a horrific death, the skies open up, demons running free. And among all that, is you.'

''I didn't chose to be here,' he said, sternly. 

I nodded. 'I know. But you are.' I grabbed his hands, demanding he focus back on me. 'You are the only one who can put the world back on track. And that is a tall order. But you have all of us around you to help keep you standing. To keep fighting.' 

Blaine nodded, his brow furrowed. 'Why did you run to me? At the Temple?' 

I froze up, unable to tell him why. 'You needed help.'

'It could have killed you.' 

I half smiled to him. 'And yet, I am here. Because of you. Or maybe in spite of you. Because if I need to be a thorn in your side to keep you going, I will.' 

Blaine nodded. 'I think you may have to be,' he said with an almost smile. 

I lightly kissed his cheek. 'We will fix this, Trevelyan. And I will be with you every step of the way.' I wasn't even sure why i said that. It could have very well been a lie.

Blaine seemed to have a million thoughts in his mind, but couldn't seem to get any of them out. He drew in a deep breath, as if to silence his mind for but a moment. 'I am drawn to you, and I do not know why. I am not normally drawn to anyone.' He had shifted from a shrinking man to a very serious one, almost suspicious of me. 

I smiled to him, trying to remain neutral. 'You and I have been thrust into a situation that is the stuff of nightmares, and have come out alive thanks to each other. I'm sure that's normal.'

He raised his hand to lightly touch my cheek. Only then did I understand what he actually meant. 'I suppose.' 

Because of the face that this Inquisitor wore, I had felt a familiar pang in my gut. The kind that screams for you to turn away, to stop what you're doing because you know this will end badly, but I ignored it. I leaned into his touch, helpless to my own emotions, and I was a fool for it. I knew this was just a dream, and yet, I believed it in that moment. 

'You're very kind, Fenna,' he said lightly. His thumb traced my bottom lip. 'I am glad that it was you who came for me.' 

I had been too stupefied to reply how I had wanted to. I would have loved to say something witty. Make a joke, maybe, to pull away from this tension, but all I could say was: 'Me too'.

Then he kissed me. My heart pounded and my hands trembled, but it was so fast I didn't have time to kiss him back. Damn this face you wear, Blaine. And damn myself for falling for it again.

'Blaine, I...'

Before the conversation could go any further, Cassandra called to us from the mouth of the cave, warning us that danger approached. I was thankful for the distraction, as Blaine had only hoovered for a moment before he ran to Cassandra and Solas. I followed close behind, readying my bow for an attack, but barely able to concentrate. I couldn't understand why this conversation had happened-it certainly was not something that the Inquisitor from the game would have ever said. More unsettling still, Blaine was now someone who seemed to want something from me, and it was another person I would have to avoid getting too close to. I cursed myself for running to him at the Temple. That one, stupid move could have completely changed the game, and I was not too keen to find out exactly how.


	6. I Guess You Could Call This My Spawning Point?

A few days had passed since my awkward encounter with Trevelyan in the cave. We had gone to see Mother Giselle, helped piece the Crossroads back together, and had even gone on several hunting trips. We'd taken out those crazed raiders, closed several rifts, and had decided to get the horses from Dennet before our return to Haven. I had fully supported this decision, because horses would certainly make this questing business easier for me, until we walked through familiar grounds. 

'Fenna?' Solas had pulled my attention away before I had even realised I had spaced out. I felt a panic rise up, and I was short of breath, as memories of my waking up in Thedas had come flooding back. The pain, the true fear... It was almost too much. 'Are you alright?' 

'This is where I...' I wanted to say spawned, but that would make no sense to them. 'This is where Cullen found me.' 

'Your clan died here,' Trevelyan said. I followed his line of sight, and saw the bodies still strewn about. I guess people didn't come this route often. 

The sight was truly horrible, and the smell was even worse. All the bodies were contorted, their faces frozen in fear, and the only thing I could think of was how I was an impostor. I did remember fragments of the battle, however. I remember an older woman, perhaps the Keeper, telling me I needed to run. I remembered a man who grabbed my hand and pulled me away, who begged me not to try and fight them. I decided it would be better to assume they did so due to my risk of being possessed, and not because whomever's body I was in was someone who had a family. A lover. Someone important. 

'We should probably bury them, yeah?' Trevelyan said. 

'No,' I said quickly. 'We should burn them.' 

Solas agreed. 'I will make some preparations if you'd like, Fenna.'

I didn't reply, but I nodded to him. We continued up the path a short ways, where we found the camp, and the fade rift still open. I watched as Cassandra attacked the few sprites that walked through, but the smell of death around the rift must have been too great for even the demons. Cassandra followed me to the camp as I looked through it, hoping to find a clue about who I was supposed to be. There were three large tents and two smaller huts. From inside at least one of them, I could smell rotting meat. I asked Cassandra to let me be as I entered the centre tent, hoping it would seem as though I just needed alone time, rather than snooping. Nothing terribly interesting came out to me, until I paid closer attention to the tent itself. 

The inside of the tent was lined with images of the Dread Wolf. The outline of a howling wolf with four eyes, prayers to him, and even a statue. I was immediately repelled, because who in the right mind actually worshiped Fen'Harel? Toward the north side of the tent, the statue had been erected and was surrounded by dry flowers. it was very well kept, painted white, silver and black, with eyes which appeared to glow. I couldn't help but touch it, as if it would come to life if I touched it tenderly enough. Between the front paws was a book, and I flipped through it quickly. Most of it was in Elvhen, but some of it was in the common tongue that I could read. It spoke of how the clan took their strength from the wolf, their persistence, and how mages were especially blessed to draw their power from him, if they worshiped hard enough. There were several spells in the book as well, which I would have loved to learn, but was distracted when none other than Fen'Harel himself walked into the tent.

'Fenna, are you...' His sentence trailed off as he noticed the peculiar decor on the inside of the tent, and myself kneeling beside a statue of his persona. It must have been jarring for him. 

'Solas, what do you need?' I asked, quickly pulling his attention back. 

'Your clan worshiped Fen'Harel?' He asked quietly, pulling the tent closed behind him. 

I nodded as I stood. 'Obviously not well enough. He didn't come to our rescue.' I'm not even sure why I said that. Why would I say that?

'Well, Fenna, I don't think the old gods...' 

I stopped him before he could fumble out a reasonable response. 'The old gods are no more,' I shrugged. I eyed him carefully, thoroughly enjoying the sight of him squirm. The irony of the situation was so palpable, so perfect, I couldn't have asked for anything better. 'We should burn the camp, too. The rot here is overpowering.' 

Solas nodded. 'As you wish.' 

The sun had crawled across the sky as the camp was prepped for the flame. The bodies were taken back to the main tent, and any salvageable weapons and armour was retrieved. Of course, none of it would fit anyone except for myself, and probably Sara if she joined, and Solas would probably die before he used the Dalish armour. However, he was all too keen to try out a staff I had handed him. He also seemed glad to keep the books I had taken from the camp, most of which were dedicated to him, and at least one was a personal journal of the Keeper. Cassandra was kind enough to create a hidden cache for the equipment we couldn't carry along with us once the fires were lit, as if she could not stand to witness the final moments of the Dalish camp. I would have thought this would have been nothing to her, but it turned out I was wrong. 

I had watched the flames, entranced by their dance, mostly unaware of what happened around me. I had used my own magic to start and contain the fire, careful to not let it stretch too far, or burn out too quickly. I knew Trevelyan was speaking quietly to Solas behind me, and even asked him why I chose to burn everything. Solas simply said my reasons were my own, and I was glad for it. 

As the sun set, I killed the fire, and we continued on our way. Now I could recognize where we were, and I knew we were close to Dennet's farm. Cassandra suggested we find a place to rest for the night, but I insisted we travel on. Trevelyan agreed, but likely only to keep me happy. I wouldn't say I was particularly sad, but the last thing I wanted was a waking nightmare of what happened. I had those nightly. 

We did finally reach Redcliffe Farm, much later than I expected. Trevelyan and Cassandra went to speak to Dennet, while Solas stayed behind to speak to me. 

'That must have been difficult for you.' 

I nodded. 'It was,' I said shortly. The less I said, the better. 

'If you wish to speak, I will always listen,' he said lightly. 

I looked up to him then, and he seemed to be genuinely concerned. 'Thank you, Solas. But I am fine.' I tried to smile at him, but for some reason, I couldn't. I wanted to lighten the mood, but everything just felt so heavy, and for some reason, I couldn't even bring myself to say anything sarcastic. 

Solas hesitated for a moment, but did eventually speak. 'Earlier, when you said that he didn't save you...' 

'Fen'Harel?' 

He nodded. 'Yes. It just struck me as strange, I suppose. You don't expect gods to just appear, do you?'

I decided to not torture him. I wasn't sure I could have even kept a straight face. Instead, I was humble. 'I think a small part of me might,' I said lightly. He seemed to dislike this answer. 'But I am not so foolish. I know that our survival is in our own hands. That Fen'Harel isn't likely to meddle with our lives.' 

'Why is that? If you were devout, would not not expect him to come to your aid?' 

'Well, namely because Fen'Harel is a god, and doesn't likely have time for us mortals. We are not his people anymore...' I said. Then, I realised,, I should not have. That is not something I should have known. 'Just in that, we, as elves, are no longer who we used to be. And I am not sure he would approve.' I scrambled to move on before he could reply. It was then I was able to use what little of the book I could read to my advantage. 'Anyway. In my clan, we do not pray for protection. We pray for strength. Our mages would... I would draw my own magic from his, or at least, that was the idea.'

'You don't believe that you do?' He asked. 

I couldn't tell what he was thinking, and so I answered honestly. 'I do not know. The idea is very romantic, I suppose. Perhaps the magic of the Dread Wolf does still linger, and perhaps I am gifted the ability to use it. But those specific spells can be... Tiresome.' _Probably._

A moment passed by as we two just slowly roamed the area. He didn't try to speak to me, but I could tell he had suddenly been very aware of me. He had the same intensity of him as when he first saw me en route to the Temple, and I was back to feeling pressured to lay low. Except, now that he was under the assumption what I was one of his worshipers, I could not. There was no where I could go that would escape his gaze. Worse yet, he must have known that clan existed. He must have heard their prayers. Or, at least, I would have thought he would. I wasn't sure how it worked here, but at the very least, I had reading material to help me. Surely I could remember enough Elvhen to get through it, right? 

Trevelyan and Cassandra came out of the darkness toward us, each with two horses in tow. 

'Look! Good horses!' He said, excitedly. 

I couldn't help but smile. 'Very good horses indeed.' 

'We should ride home to Haven,' Trevelyan said as he handed me the reigns to my horse. 

It had been years since I had ridden a horse, and honestly I was not so sure about it. This horse was massive, black as the night sky, with hooves bigger than my hands. However, it seemed to be nice... Kind of gentile, I guess? It headbutted me, the way that horses do when they like you. I laughed. 'Do I smell good?' 

'His name is Onyx. Apparently, he's the kindest of them all. A bit lazy, Dennet says, so you might have to bribe him with food often,' Trevelyan said. 

Onyx. What an awful name for a black horse. 'That's fine with me,' I said I gave him a final scratch behind the ears. It took great effort to even get my foot in the stirrup, the horse was so tall, never mind actually mounting the thing. It would surely take some getting used to. 

'Fenna, the horses have some sacks on the saddles. Should we carry some of what we left in the cache with us to Haven?' Cassandra asked before we set out. 

'Sure. it would save us from trying to find it again,' I said lightly, trying not to seem uneasy on the beast of a horse below me. 

'Very well. Let's get home. I believe we could all use some rest,' Trevelyan said, leading the way back to Haven.


	7. Some Personal Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more of an introspective chapter for character development. It doesn’t really continue the story, but I wanted you guys to get to know more about what’s going on before I dive further into the story.

After we had returned to Haven, I was finally given some real time to myself. Trevelyan and Cassandra had gone off to Val Royeaux, were likely to hire Sara and Vivienne while they were out there (but maybe not. Again, this dream has been surprising), and were not due to return for days. Solas had been kind enough to check up on me once in a while, but generally kept his distance. It had been the perfect time for me to look through those books to gain some insight on who I was truly supposed to be. I was not expecting much, and figured I would have to fill in a lot of the blanks. However, I was sorely mistaken. 

Since this wild hallucination had started, the nightmares I’d had were truly awful. Often, I would wake in a cold sweat, and because of this, I always made sure to fall asleep last and wake up first. Faces called out to me, voices haunted me, all of them from this past life of mine I had only begun to unlock. I had come to the concrete realization that, yes, this body belonged to someone before I woke up in it, when at first I had only suspected as much. The face I looked at in the mirror was not mine. This olive skin was unfamiliar, and this wild black hair was not a burden I’d ever had before. I had considered cutting it, but honestly, the chore of brushing and braiding it was sometimes relaxing. It was something normal. 

As I read through the journal, I realized that it was indeed written by the Keeper. I also discovered that I was First to the Keeper. Or, I guess, she was. Her name was Erafen, and that must have been why it was my first response to Cullen, despite how ridiculous the name is. She was a mage that was stronger than she realized, perhaps even too strong for her own will. Also, because of Erafen’s memories still lingering inside my mind, I was even able to read the elven language. I learned the spells of the Keeper’s journal, though it was more like a review with Erafen still kind of on board. I had thought that, maybe I was just extremely lucky to have been able to pick up a staff, wave it around and be able to wield it like a true weapon. But it was Erafen’s instinct that guided me. Even more interesting was that the Keeper had given her training with a bow and arrow, and even a broadsword, to use in conjunction with her magic. She’d described Erafen as a force of nature, as if she were afraid of all that Erafen was capable of. This also may have been why Solas had immediately tuned into me. The Keeper thought Erafen was gifted with particularly unique magic. As if Mythal, herself, and breathed life and strength into the girl. Naming her the protector of whichever clan she happened to be in. Even her Vallaslin was to Mythal. Of course, the Keeper may have been on to something. Maybe that old hag who talks too much did, indeed come and visit Erafen when she was an infant? The witch did crazy things, and this was certainly within her realm of crazy. I thought to later on in the story, and wondered if Trevelyan would take me to see her. Would she even say anything?

I eventually found myself wondering around Haven. All the reading had been unreasonable, really, and so I took a break to check up on Harritt. I had given him the armour I found, and asked him to repair anything salvageable. He told me to return by midday tomorrow, and he’d have a shiny set ready for me. And so, I decided to just walk. I had many things to work through in my mind. 

I had gone to the wooded area away from the heart of Haven, with my bow. I thought maybe I could at least get someone to teach me to properly skin  
an animal, tan it, and make a decent tunic for myself while waiting for things to progress for me. After all, it was becoming rapidly clear this dream was far from done with me, yet. 

But then I decided that, if there was anywhere I could practice some of these spells, it would be here. I drew in a deep breath as I readied my bow, and aimed for the lake. I slowly exhaled, and whispered the first incantation. A spell that would set fire to anything it touched. It was rather effective. The arrow flew through the air leaving a trail of flame and smoke behind it. As it touched the lake, the ice very suddenly went up into flames. It hadn’t lasted long, but it was actually kind of fun. I had tried a few more; poison, explosions, and even one that guaranteed a hit (not that I’d ever need it). I had felt so confident that I had even tried the Curse of the Wolf. I pulled back the string and held tight as I said the incantation; A curse that was apparently passed down to each successive Keeper from Fen’Harel himself. I had joked with myself about asking him about it, when I had read it, but after seeing the destruction of the curse, I thought it better that I did not. 

‘The Dread Wolf takes you,’ so ended the spell. I hadn’t realized it at first, but a fog had surrounded me as I said the spell, as if Fen’Harel’s magic truly did surround me. The arrow whizzed through the air followed by a trail of the same grey fog. I watched the arrow as it had splintered into thousands of pieces, each piece on fire. The fire, however, was also grey. As if it were the ghost of flames. When it hit the ice, the splinters sliced through the thick barrier as if it were not even there, and was barely extinguished by the water below. The air was heavy with magic, tingling all around me, and I found myself to be short of breath. 

I watched as the mist died down, and had to sit down in the snow, I was so tired from that one spell. It was exhilarating though. And I would definitely be using it as much as I could. As I had daydreamed about the devastation I could rain upon the enemies, from the assault on Haven to Adamant, someone had approached behind me. 

I turned to see Solas. Had he known I just used his curse? 

‘Are you alright?’ He asked. He seemed somewhat off balance, which was very out of character for him. 

‘I’m fine, thanks. Are you?’ 

Solas nodded. ‘I saw the lake had suddenly been set ablaze while I was walking. I should have known you’d have something to do with it,’ he said lightly as he sat next to me. 

I laughed. Was he poking fun at me? ‘What makes you say so?’

Solas grinned. ‘You’re very mischievous.’ 

I wanted so badly for this conversation to be genuine. But I knew he must have been here to investigate. I knew I had to take control, and not let him disarm me. It was hard enough to be near him without touching him. Not even just holding his hand, or something more juvenile. I wasn’t going to let him talk me in circles. 

‘I’m just having a hard time trying to adjust, is all,’ I said quietly. I looked back to the lake so I wouldn’t have to look at him. 

‘It would be reasonable for you to let out your frustrations. Especially after laying your clan to rest.’

I nodded. I should have gone with that, first. 

‘Regardless, you are never alone. You know that, yes?’ 

I shrugged. ‘Sometimes, Solas, that is precisely the problem.’ 

‘Should I let you be?’ 

I looked to him, and he seemed to truly be curious if I needed space. ‘No,’ I finally said, after I pulled myself out of just another flash of a daydream of being close to this stupid elf. ‘Your presence comforts me.’ 

He tried to smile, but the wolf wasn’t typically very good at anything more than a smirk. ‘Then I shall stay.’ 

‘Thank you.’ 

A few moments passed as he and I sat in the snow, when he surprised me by asking be about the curse. 

‘I have rarely seen that spell cast,’ he said quietly. ‘Certainly not outside of the Fade. I can still feel the magic.’

I could imagine him wanting to scold me, but what would he say without making me suspicious? ‘I suppose it’s not very common,’ I said off handedly. This was not a conversation I could control. 

‘It is my understanding that the Dalish do not use it anymore, as it is associated with the Dread Wolf.’

He must have been testing me. ‘Perhaps some have avoided it. But you are quite aware of how my clan felt about Fen’Harel.’

Solas huffed a breathy laugh. ‘Fair enough. Do you use it often?’ 

I couldn’t help but laugh. Using it just now nearly knocked me out cold, and he knew that. So why would he ask?

‘Not unless I need to.’ I said lightly. 

‘Did you need to use it on the river?’ 

I should have anticipated this question, and in part I had, but I was not ready for the cold look he gave me, filled to the brim with suspicion and anger. I didn’t know how to proceed. I thought for a moment as I looked back to the river, and decided it was best to play the sad orphan card again. 

‘It helps to feel his magic, I guess,’ I said quietly. I was really trying to sell it. ‘With my clan gone, it’s the only thing that is remotely familiar.’ 

‘I thought you were not close to your clan.’

‘And yet, it was the closest thing to a family I’d ever had.’ 

Solas seemed to lay off. ‘I apologize if it seems like I am...’

‘It’s fine, Solas.’ I cut him off as I stood to walk away. ‘I’m not ignorant to the general opinion of the Dalish, and of Fen’Harel. Knowing what you do I cannot blame you for your suspicion.’ I just wish you’d shut up. 

He followed as I walked away. ‘No, it isn’t that at all, Fenna.’

I stopped in my tracks, and turned to him. ‘So you’re just harassing me for fun?’

He seemed surprised. ‘I only wish to know you, Fenna.’ 

Finally, the truth. I could feel my shoulders fall and my chest felt like it collapsed. All the time I’ve spent playing this game and watching Solas and generally being too creepy toward a fictional character, and I cannot even have a conversation with him. I nodded, and we walked further into the snowy forest. I could feel his apprehension, that he wanted to ask me questions, but didn’t know how to. 

‘You may ask questions if you like. I can see you bursting with curiosity,’ I finally said. 

‘I just want to know, why Fen’Harel? He is arguably the greatest antagonist of the Elven pantheon... I honestly never thought I’d see anyone who would worship such a diety,’ his thoughts seemed only half complete, as if he couldn’t follow one line of questioning. 

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the ground. ‘Some would argue that he did us a favour in some ways, by creating the veil.’

‘And you?’

I bit my lip before I said something stupid. ‘I would say I have a hard time believing in the old gods.’ 

Solas didn’t seem to accept my answer. ‘Even though you just now said it felt comfortable to feel his magic?’

I furrowed my brow as I looked up to him. His face was stone, a scowl that I had been all too familiar with. ‘Who’s to say that was his magic, in the first place? I had never felt that curse do anything, up until a year ago. Incidentally that is also the time I had unlocked a deeper power within myself,’ I hesitated. Now I was walking on eggshells. ‘How do I know it is not just my own magic? Something that I never had the focus to tap into before?’

He didn’t respond. And I was glad for it. 

‘My clan was a group of fanatics, if you will. Believing the best of someone who very well could be everything bad that our people say he is. Perhaps there was good in him, but I have not seen it.’ 

With that, I dropped my head, not wanting to speak to him anymore. I knew I pushed some buttons, but of course he would not know what I did. 

‘You speak as if you’ve met him.’ He finally said. 

‘Perhaps, I have. In my dreams the wolf comes to me. Most likely, it is my imagination. But who’s to say?’


End file.
